Although it is now six months since Michael walked through the door into eternity I still miss his presence just as much as ever. 
My life has settled into and around caring for our dog, Winston a nine year old full size Yorkshire terrier and every Monday SVdP board meetings.
I really need to get a life with more meaning. 
The loneliness becomes unbearable at times, but being alone has always been a weakness of mine.  I think God wants me to master this but it is quite probable that this is the hardest thing God asks of me.
I am by nature an extrovert and I love people.  I'm Irish, therefore, talking, debating is second nature.  Michael and I shared that this quality even though he was more cautious than me.
The six month anniversary of his passing was exactly the day and date, so instead of going to the SVdP meeting that Monday, I spent from 1:30 until 3:30pm in Adoration Chapel......I just couldn't go to the meeting as that is what I was doing at the time the Angels came for my dear husband.
There are bereavement groups connected to my Church and also in my Village clubhouse.  I am not able to
go to these meetings as I cannot share my feelings of loss with strangers. 
I've been told that I am very strong, "tough" even.  I give the appearance that I am fine, but no one knows
the pain I feel every time I come home. 
My days are methodical, get up, take the dog out, feed the dog, have breakfast, wash up the dishes, make the bed, do whatever housework needs to be done, reconcile my bank statement, make a grocery list, shop after Mass on Saturday evening [highlight of my week] and start all over again.
My only connection with life is through my dearest friend who lives in Brooklyn.  She calls me regularly at least once a week or I call her.  She is and will always be my very best friend.
It is my conversation with each person of the Blessed Trinity as well as my Guardian Angel [Joseph] that keeps me going that gets me out of bed.
If I have learned anything it is how fragile life is and what a precious gift it is.  I thank God everyday for the gift of Michael to my life. I know he is alive but not the way I want him to be.  With the mercy and grace of my God, someday we will be together again. As I type this I am looking at his picture here beside me at my
computer.  He has such a beautiful smile, please God may I see his smile again.